Real men don't diet, but they can get slimmer and fitter

Okay, there's a bit of gender stereotyping going on there, but only a bit. The way men and women talk - and, more importantly, think - about weight is different. And that means the best way for men to lose weight is different, too.

That's what the evidence shows, from both experts and men who've tried to lose weight and succeeded. Like Bruce Byron. He is an actor from The Bill who has lost three stones and written a book about how he did it, called Fat Bloke Slims. He's not a diet expert, but then are men likely to listen to "diet experts"? Bruce recognises the scenario of the guys in the pub joshing about dieting. "Women will join clubs and support each other, whereas men are more likely just to poke fun at each other. I think men retreat behind a wall of laughter when they feel they are being put upon by their peers. There is also a certain amount of boasting: Yeah, look at me I'm 45 and I can still do 25 pints and a curry.' But it just takes one person in a group of men to say it's going to kill you'."

As for the experts, Kerri McPherson confirms this difference between the sexes. Kerri, of Men's Health Forum Scotland, is a chartered health pyschologist at Glasgow Caledonian University who specialises in the psychology of weight loss in men. She knows all about the teasing and the laughing that hides what men are really thinking about their weight.

"You will get teasing around body shape probably a bit more overtly than women," she says. "Men tend to talk about other people's bodies, women talk about their own."

What this means is that if you're a man, and if you tend to act in these ways, the traditional approaches largely aimed at women won't work. Those who have watched men's behaviour or lost some weight themselves have some useful pointers. Don't panic, this isn't a diet, but it might just change the way you behave.

Calories are for girls, aren't they?

If you're a man, the chances are you won't be interested in calories and if you have tried to count them, it hasn't worked. "The way we tend to promote nutritional practices is to say lose weight or count calories, and these are all feminised behaviours and they turn men off," says Kerri.

A much better approach for men is to focus on eating well and less. Bruce puts it this way: establish a new pattern, but take a reasonably relaxed attitude to it. That way, you are more likely to keep it up. "I can't spend the time I have on this planet panicking about what's on the back of a packet," he says.

Kerri adds that this is about what men do every day. "We focus an awful lot on guys going for a pint and a kebab, but we're not focusing on what guys are doing on a daily basis." A good message for men is the one that Jamie Oliver delivers: it's about enjoying food, but good quality, healthy food. And in moderation.

You're eating how much?

Eating less is important. Men tend to like their food piled high on the plate, and they like seconds, and pudding. Michael Winner sees portion control as a key to success. Now we wouldn't necessarily turn to a film director for advice on food and health, but he has lost weight and has put it all down in a book Fat Pig Diet.

"There is no decent food that I'm missing," says Michael. "I'm just eating less. You can eat anything you like but you eat less, particularly in the evening."

A trip to the pub

Of course, it's not just food men need to focus on. Let's return to that group of male friends in the pub on a Friday knocking back the lager.

Jim Leishman, men's health coordinator in the Camelon Health Clinic in Baird Street, Falkirk, suggests some simple steps to take in the pub instead: make every second drink a half pint or use low-sugar mixers.

The Wednesday factor

Beware of Wednesdays. Here, says Kerri, men are a bit like women. They decide to eat better and on Monday everything is going well. Then by Wednesday, you maybe have a couple of drinks, and the slide has begun. By the weekend, you are back into your old patterns. Watch for Wednesdays.

Get off that sofa

For Kerri, there is one word that points to success for men trying to lose weight. Bruce used it earlier. And it isn't diet. It's exercise. Again, the reason why this may be the most successful way to lose weight for men lies in one of the differences between men and women.

You see, the weird thing is that men want to lose weight but they don't want to be thin. In fact, they would rather be fat than thin. "The ideal for a man is a body that is very muscly," says Kerri. "When we speak to men we find that big and fat is better than thin. Being big is a feature of masculinity whereas being thin is a very visual representation of femininity."

The logical next step for Kerri, then, is that men are much more likely to try to lose weight through exercise because they are trying to achieve bulkiness.

So men should take up something physical they enjoy, such as joining one of the many jogging groups throughout Scotland, and try to do something physical every day.

Analyse this

All this talk of differences between men and women doesn't mean men can't learn something from women and their approach to losing weight. Bruce says men should analyse their behaviour more.

"Slowly but surely, men are becoming more capable of doing that analysis; men are changing," he says. "You still need to be yourself but the way forward is to say, This is about health'."

And men who want to lose weight and become fitter can still have a life: men enjoy food and beer and life and they still can. Michael says men think that in losing weight, their lifestyle will diminish so much that it's not worth it. "But it doesn't diminish," says Michael. "The pleasure of slimming down is enormous and outweighs any minor inconvenience. You learn to change the whole rhythm of food intake."

It's the kind of thing you might want to mention to an overweight male friend next time you're in the pub. He might laugh at you, he might try to joke about it, he might even slap your belly and tell you that you need to lose a bit of weight yourself.

But then again, he might just listen and go home and do something about his own weight. And that's the kind of good news that can spread.

Fat Bloke Slims by Bruce Byron is published by Penguin on January 8. Michael Winner's Fat Pig Diet is published by JR Books on January 12.