FOR an area that relies so heavily on tourism, I write to express my concern about the lack of UFO sightings recently.

Paranormal activity and ghost sightings seem to be holding up, but visitations by intergalactic travellers are in sharp decline.

Although some believe there is an increased chance of a close encounter at this time of year due to the twinkling lights, I would remind you that their craft are piloted by intelligent beings, not moths.

There are many empty shops and buildings that could be converted into intergalactic rravel termini and welcome centres – with the emphasis on welcome – there is nothing to fear just because they may speak a different language to us.

I've heard they like pancakes, although one particular visitor is said to be keen on mince pies and carrot.

Tis the season of goodwill to all (space) men.

Baron Fullstop

Official Monster Raving Loony Party Mid-Worcestershire